Ok, here's a worldly update on me:
1) No, I'm not dating anyone, thank you all for asking :) Through more fault of my own, probably. As soon as I come up with a sound theory about relationships, and why they don't work for me, I'll post it, and in the meantime, this is me shrugging my shoulders and smiling and saying, "well, I tried!"
2) I'm in another show! It'll be a Best of Broadway show, on Aug 15-23, so only 5 performances, and I get to do a little "Goin' Courtin", "The Girl in 14G" (my big diva number), and "We Go Together" as Sandy :) Bring a date, or bug me for comp tickets, or come just to critique and we'll do ice cream at my place afterwards! I love critisism.
3) I'm getting extremely nervous and scared to start teaching for real in two and a half weeks. Its worrying me how the first day and the first week are so crucial to the success of the rest of the year, and its in the first day and the first week that I have NO IDEA how to do this! Please, may they not hate me!
4) Yes, I did finally get some paychecks in the mail! I survived! Through the offers of friends and the deeds of a dear stranger (I still think he was one of the 3 Nephites), it all turned out ok. THANK YOU all for looking out for me. It brings a smile to my face thinking of how many friends really do have my back when I need them!
5) I'm really blessed. I have SO many reasons to be the happiest girl in the world. That's all.
Monday, July 28, 2008
Ye That are Heavy Laden
I am completely spent. I have nothing left in me. I had a truly incredible EFY in Rexburg--Sunday morning I got a call to be a counselor for another week up at BYU-I, so I jumped at the offer, canceled all my plans, packed and left within the hour. I feel that I gave everything I had to give, which is a wonderfully satisfying feeling. I told my girls at the beginning of the week: Be leaches, suck me dry! I want to give you all that I have!
And they really took me up on it. I ended up talking so very late into the night for the rest of the week. It was humbling to have my girls trust me so much with such terrible things they've gone through. I felt so very inadequate, and at a loss of what to say, but through lots of tears and prayers and searching on my own, perhaps they felt a little of what the Lord wanted them to hear. The last night, I sat with one of my girls, and just held her, without a single word for a half hour as she quivered in my arms. There is still a lot of healing that she has to endure, but she'll make it. It makes me so angry what someone would do to that precious daughter of God. How many girls endure this so very often? What all am I oblivious to? Was I to experience this week so that I may slowly learn how to comfort others going through this same thing?
I don't think I've ever felt like I needed to be in a certain place more than I did last week. How incredible it is when the Lord trusts you with His children. Though my impact may have been very small, I felt like it was enough, for now! May the Lord bless those 26 little girls I had under my wings this summer.
And they really took me up on it. I ended up talking so very late into the night for the rest of the week. It was humbling to have my girls trust me so much with such terrible things they've gone through. I felt so very inadequate, and at a loss of what to say, but through lots of tears and prayers and searching on my own, perhaps they felt a little of what the Lord wanted them to hear. The last night, I sat with one of my girls, and just held her, without a single word for a half hour as she quivered in my arms. There is still a lot of healing that she has to endure, but she'll make it. It makes me so angry what someone would do to that precious daughter of God. How many girls endure this so very often? What all am I oblivious to? Was I to experience this week so that I may slowly learn how to comfort others going through this same thing?
I don't think I've ever felt like I needed to be in a certain place more than I did last week. How incredible it is when the Lord trusts you with His children. Though my impact may have been very small, I felt like it was enough, for now! May the Lord bless those 26 little girls I had under my wings this summer.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Green Glass over Emeralds
AAAAHHHH, I hate seeing my friends marry outside the temple. I HATE it!! I'm glad they're getting married, and I'm sure their spouses are wonderful people, and maybe it was the right thing for them right now, and maybe I don't know half the story or the whole of the situation, but its still just hard for me to stomach. I wish I could hear their rationalizing so maybe I'd feel better about it, but in the meantime, I just can't see and don't understand how this is how it ended, when we all sat in Young Womens together, we all went to Girls Camp and mutual and EFY and youth conference and talked about how we all wanted the same thing. When did that change?
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Its a Good Kind of Hurt
It seems a trend lately, coming home from rehearsals and looking at my bruises. Its not like the choreography is all too athletic at all, I guess my arms and ribs just aren't used to it yet. Perhaps its the stresses of working with 6 different guy leads: 2 beasts, 2 gastons, and 2 princes, because everyone is double-cast except for me, ha ha. Its rather confusing, actually.
Monday, July 14, 2008
It's that time of year again!
The time when my toes start getting calused, I seem to always run out of enough clean socks, and I get turned away every time I try to give blood b/c my iron is too low. Its training season!!
I decided to take it easy and only do a half marathon this summer, and maybe the 10k next week in SLC. I just love the excuse it gives me to be outdoors, b/c goodness knows I'd be completely content to stay inside for weeks, cooking and sewing and I wouldn't mind in the least. Somehow, as soon as I post on my fridge the schedule of how many miles to run on what day, I feel so committed to it! I love having obtainable goals! I love the big reward of race day!
I love my tan lines from being outside all the time! 18 miles last week, 21 this week, and 25 next! And its just the beginning!
I decided to take it easy and only do a half marathon this summer, and maybe the 10k next week in SLC. I just love the excuse it gives me to be outdoors, b/c goodness knows I'd be completely content to stay inside for weeks, cooking and sewing and I wouldn't mind in the least. Somehow, as soon as I post on my fridge the schedule of how many miles to run on what day, I feel so committed to it! I love having obtainable goals! I love the big reward of race day!
I love my tan lines from being outside all the time! 18 miles last week, 21 this week, and 25 next! And its just the beginning!
Monday, July 7, 2008
Starvation Could be Fun
I've found myself in a humbling situation. With my new job lined up in the Fall, I knew I'd still have to make some sort of income this summer to make ends meet, so I did some substituting back in May and recently some EFY sessions. The sub system pays direct deposit on the 25th of every month, so when I looked this morning and found that this very substantial, life-sustaining deposit had never been made, I began to panic. Turns out, they did send a check, but to a completely random address in Draper! The payroll office has canceled the check, and will send me another one, to my real address, but they won't be able to get to it for 3 weeks or so. In the meantime, I have $20 to my name!! I AM GOING TO DIE!!
Ok but really, it could be a fun character-building experience, seeing how it feels to live from paycheck to paycheck, having bills that you have no idea how you'll pay. Looks like I'll be donating a lot of plasma this month!!
Ok but really, it could be a fun character-building experience, seeing how it feels to live from paycheck to paycheck, having bills that you have no idea how you'll pay. Looks like I'll be donating a lot of plasma this month!!
Especially for Me Too
What an experience that words cannot even express. I was expecting to give so much to these girls, to my youth, and didn't realize that they'd be giving so much to me in return. How very strengthening it is to be given that leadership role, to have to opportunity to bear testimony at any moment, to really share with these girls what I know is true, and how I've come to know it for myself. It surely is in the bearing of testimonies that ours are strengthened immensely. I knew that I was supposed to be at EFY this summer, for reason that each of the 20 different 
things I auditioned for and applied for all fell through or didn't accept me or didn't work out. Clearly, I was supposed to be there for someone, or they were supposed to be there for me.
In Indiana, I saw myself in so many of these girls. I was in fact, in their very place exactly 6 years ago, at the Bloomington session! I remember being so enthralled with the gathering of hundreds of zealous LDS youth, unlike anything I'd ever experienced before, and just feeling the power of so many of us in one place was the reason I longed for it every summer. So in being their counselor, I got to take a step back and let these youth teach other, to bask in the light they all have and brought with them. They were all so eager to talk with eachother and share what they know and bouy eachother up. They are so weathered and so strong because of it. The youth of the Midwest are doing great things for the Church.
And then Nauvoo was just a week of pure peace and wholeness. Just to be walking in the city brought such happiness, and then to be teaching and testifying on the temple grounds, Joseph's city, I couldn't have asked for a more perfect summer experience. My favorite part of the week was being able to share my love for Nauvoo, my home! For the first time in my life, I was the
educated tour guide that knew the city like the back of my hand! I could share every story and detail and memory everywhere we went. Isn't that how life works, though? You enjoy something so much for yourself first, and then you go back and you lead others along, as their parent or their teacher, paving a little way for them, but still gaining so very much out of the experience for yourself while you're at it. Shaking the hands of President Uchtdorf while I was there only put the icing on the already sweet and delicious cake! Goodness, so much of me is in Nauvoo. What a connection I have and will always have with that sacred little town.
And so I'm hooked. I would absolutely love to devote my entire next summer to Especially for Youth. There's just something about draining yourself physically, spiritually, and emotionally, week after week for these little sponges, and I can't quite put a finger on it. Perhaps its because it makes me feel a little more like the Savior, who was the greatest teacher of all, who loved the children with all His heart, and who showed by His example how to come unto Christ.
things I auditioned for and applied for all fell through or didn't accept me or didn't work out. Clearly, I was supposed to be there for someone, or they were supposed to be there for me.In Indiana, I saw myself in so many of these girls. I was in fact, in their very place exactly 6 years ago, at the Bloomington session! I remember being so enthralled with the gathering of hundreds of zealous LDS youth, unlike anything I'd ever experienced before, and just feeling the power of so many of us in one place was the reason I longed for it every summer. So in being their counselor, I got to take a step back and let these youth teach other, to bask in the light they all have and brought with them. They were all so eager to talk with eachother and share what they know and bouy eachother up. They are so weathered and so strong because of it. The youth of the Midwest are doing great things for the Church.
And then Nauvoo was just a week of pure peace and wholeness. Just to be walking in the city brought such happiness, and then to be teaching and testifying on the temple grounds, Joseph's city, I couldn't have asked for a more perfect summer experience. My favorite part of the week was being able to share my love for Nauvoo, my home! For the first time in my life, I was the
educated tour guide that knew the city like the back of my hand! I could share every story and detail and memory everywhere we went. Isn't that how life works, though? You enjoy something so much for yourself first, and then you go back and you lead others along, as their parent or their teacher, paving a little way for them, but still gaining so very much out of the experience for yourself while you're at it. Shaking the hands of President Uchtdorf while I was there only put the icing on the already sweet and delicious cake! Goodness, so much of me is in Nauvoo. What a connection I have and will always have with that sacred little town.And so I'm hooked. I would absolutely love to devote my entire next summer to Especially for Youth. There's just something about draining yourself physically, spiritually, and emotionally, week after week for these little sponges, and I can't quite put a finger on it. Perhaps its because it makes me feel a little more like the Savior, who was the greatest teacher of all, who loved the children with all His heart, and who showed by His example how to come unto Christ.
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