I'm Getting Married!

We're engaged!!! It was the most amazing proposal, and we're so incredible happy! I can't believe its all happening so absolutely perfectly! Glory, I love Jason so much, and I can't wait to spend eternity with him!

We started our little family blog! So perhaps this is the end of my "Dear Mr. Gable"s! Please keep up to date with us, the Millar family, at camijaymillar.blogspot.com! So long!

Jason

And then when you least expect it, someone sweeps you off your feet!

So I met this boy...his name is Jason Millar :) I really really like him!
We met doing this play called Beauty & the Beast. I thought he was cute at our first rehearsal, but it took him a whole month to ask me out, probably b/c I was out of town doing EFY.

So one rehearsal, he asked me for a ride home, (although he already had a ride) and asked me out to see a play. And that's where it started! We talked and played cards and flirted all night long, and decided that we could be friends.

Its really great, and I'm really happy. Ok, details: Jason is from Rigby, Idaho. He's 22, and has been back a year from serving in Florida. He was an RA last year in Heritage Halls, and wants to go into business. He's the youngest of 5 children, and has the cutest nieces & nephews! He has the most beautiful singing voice, and he's the perfect height, and he does the sweetest things for me all the time. I'm pretty much crazy about him. I hope you all get to meet him! You all should probably come see the play, and see how cute we are when he's Gaston and trying to win me over on stage. No, come when he's the Prince, b/c then we get to kiss at the end. Its pretty romantic.

Its incredible to me how quickly it has developed, and how I'm completely content with everything about it! Once in blue moon, you find someone where everything seems so perfect, and so easy, and so natural that you wonder how you were so lucky to come across it. I'm the luckiest girl in the world!

Choose Your Own Adventure

I'm a big fan of "Choose Your Own Adventure" books. I could direct you to the wall of them at the local library. Lately, I can't help but make another analogy of how life is our own "Choose Your Own...", where we are the protagonist, making the choices that determine one of so many options in the end. In these books, at the end of every page, you have to make a choice, each option telling you what page to turn to next. You keep making choices, keep jumping to other pages, and eventually end up at one of typically 40 different endings--some rewarding, satisfactory, some death.

So God hands us the book and says, "Here, see what you make of it". Its our book, we're turning the pages, calling the shots. We'll always have our agency, the choice is always ours. We can read it how we like, but realize that its all about the sequence of events. If you skip a page, some critical element of your story dissapears and suddenly you've lost the direction of where to go next! If we read it the way WE think it should go, it doesn't make any sense! If you want to make God laugh, tell him YOUR plans!

I think we're meant to enjoy the book along the way. We've all read and hated classic novels from high school English class, or college physics textbooks, but I think that this is one not meant to be skimmed. There's a lot to learn on every page, to take time and enjoy the story! Its your life. Stop thinking "I'll be happy when I get to page 88", "I'll be happy when I'm out of school". Learn to be happy on the page you're on, Camille!

Choices are stressful, yes? When we get to that part:

If you decide to start back home, turn to page 34.
If you decide to wait, turn to page 95.

...you start to get nervous! Don't we all feel that way at one point or another, that this ONE decision will set us on a plot line we never wanted? "If I don't study, I'll fail this test, I've lost my scholarship, and I'll have to drop out of school", "If I walk away from this relationship now, I'll never know if it couldn't worked in the end". And they usually aren't easy decisions, are they? If it was an obvious choice, there'd be no question, and everyone would end up with the same exact story. It's not always choosing between good and bad. Lots of times its between good and good, and we base our decisions on what we think would make us the happiest. And when a decision doesn't bring us happiness, we think it was the wrong one, but maybe those decisions are the ones that will lead us to a greater joy. One course will bring us the greatest happiness.

We may never know the many options that lie on the number of pages that unfortunately and fortunately will never be read. We think about that all the time, don't we? "I wonder where I would be if I wasn't a member of this Church", "What would I be doing tonight if we had never met?" I bet while you're on page 25, its hard to imagine what the end looks like. Even if we could read the endings first, and see what page we'd like to end on, we still would have no idea how to get there. Its supposed to be that way.

God wrote it, he knows what's on every page. And He wants us to choose the best-case-scenario, don't you? Maybe that one designed plotline was meant to be longer than others, include certain pages that no one else reads, send you in some direction you never thought it would.

In some way, we can't write our own story. It's already written. But we can choose our own adventure!

Here's the Deal:

I'd like to make a proposition. First, the dilemma:

My baby has a little problem with the big metal piece that protects the engine and underside. Its just lost a number of the bolts that hold it up. My dad says its a fairly easy 1-hr fix.

Seeing as I would probably be paying $150-200 for labor at any shop, if any kind soul could help me fix it, I would make you the meal of your lifetime! Honest, it would be a $200 a plate kind of meal :) and ANYTHING you wanted would be on the menu! Let me know!

Thanks for Asking

Ok, here's a worldly update on me:

1) No, I'm not dating anyone, thank you all for asking :) Through more fault of my own, probably. As soon as I come up with a sound theory about relationships, and why they don't work for me, I'll post it, and in the meantime, this is me shrugging my shoulders and smiling and saying, "well, I tried!"

2) I'm in another show! It'll be a Best of Broadway show, on Aug 15-23, so only 5 performances, and I get to do a little "Goin' Courtin", "The Girl in 14G" (my big diva number), and "We Go Together" as Sandy :) Bring a date, or bug me for comp tickets, or come just to critique and we'll do ice cream at my place afterwards! I love critisism.

3) I'm getting extremely nervous and scared to start teaching for real in two and a half weeks. Its worrying me how the first day and the first week are so crucial to the success of the rest of the year, and its in the first day and the first week that I have NO IDEA how to do this! Please, may they not hate me!

4) Yes, I did finally get some paychecks in the mail! I survived! Through the offers of friends and the deeds of a dear stranger (I still think he was one of the 3 Nephites), it all turned out ok. THANK YOU all for looking out for me. It brings a smile to my face thinking of how many friends really do have my back when I need them!

5) I'm really blessed. I have SO many reasons to be the happiest girl in the world. That's all.

Ye That are Heavy Laden

I am completely spent. I have nothing left in me. I had a truly incredible EFY in Rexburg--Sunday morning I got a call to be a counselor for another week up at BYU-I, so I jumped at the offer, canceled all my plans, packed and left within the hour. I feel that I gave everything I had to give, which is a wonderfully satisfying feeling. I told my girls at the beginning of the week: Be leaches, suck me dry! I want to give you all that I have!

And they really took me up on it. I ended up talking so very late into the night for the rest of the week. It was humbling to have my girls trust me so much with such terrible things they've gone through. I felt so very inadequate, and at a loss of what to say, but through lots of tears and prayers and searching on my own, perhaps they felt a little of what the Lord wanted them to hear. The last night, I sat with one of my girls, and just held her, without a single word for a half hour as she quivered in my arms. There is still a lot of healing that she has to endure, but she'll make it. It makes me so angry what someone would do to that precious daughter of God. How many girls endure this so very often? What all am I oblivious to? Was I to experience this week so that I may slowly learn how to comfort others going through this same thing?

I don't think I've ever felt like I needed to be in a certain place more than I did last week. How incredible it is when the Lord trusts you with His children. Though my impact may have been very small, I felt like it was enough, for now! May the Lord bless those 26 little girls I had under my wings this summer.

Green Glass over Emeralds

AAAAHHHH, I hate seeing my friends marry outside the temple. I HATE it!! I'm glad they're getting married, and I'm sure their spouses are wonderful people, and maybe it was the right thing for them right now, and maybe I don't know half the story or the whole of the situation, but its still just hard for me to stomach. I wish I could hear their rationalizing so maybe I'd feel better about it, but in the meantime, I just can't see and don't understand how this is how it ended, when we all sat in Young Womens together, we all went to Girls Camp and mutual and EFY and youth conference and talked about how we all wanted the same thing. When did that change?

Its a Good Kind of Hurt

It seems a trend lately, coming home from rehearsals and looking at my bruises. Its not like the choreography is all too athletic at all, I guess my arms and ribs just aren't used to it yet. Perhaps its the stresses of working with 6 different guy leads: 2 beasts, 2 gastons, and 2 princes, because everyone is double-cast except for me, ha ha. Its rather confusing, actually.

It's that time of year again!

The time when my toes start getting calused, I seem to always run out of enough clean socks, and I get turned away every time I try to give blood b/c my iron is too low. Its training season!!

I decided to take it easy and only do a half marathon this summer, and maybe the 10k next week in SLC. I just love the excuse it gives me to be outdoors, b/c goodness knows I'd be completely content to stay inside for weeks, cooking and sewing and I wouldn't mind in the least. Somehow, as soon as I post on my fridge the schedule of how many miles to run on what day, I feel so committed to it! I love having obtainable goals! I love the big reward of race day!
I love my tan lines from being outside all the time! 18 miles last week, 21 this week, and 25 next! And its just the beginning!

Starvation Could be Fun

I've found myself in a humbling situation. With my new job lined up in the Fall, I knew I'd still have to make some sort of income this summer to make ends meet, so I did some substituting back in May and recently some EFY sessions. The sub system pays direct deposit on the 25th of every month, so when I looked this morning and found that this very substantial, life-sustaining deposit had never been made, I began to panic. Turns out, they did send a check, but to a completely random address in Draper! The payroll office has canceled the check, and will send me another one, to my real address, but they won't be able to get to it for 3 weeks or so. In the meantime, I have $20 to my name!! I AM GOING TO DIE!!

Ok but really, it could be a fun character-building experience, seeing how it feels to live from paycheck to paycheck, having bills that you have no idea how you'll pay. Looks like I'll be donating a lot of plasma this month!!

Especially for Me Too

What an experience that words cannot even express. I was expecting to give so much to these girls, to my youth, and didn't realize that they'd be giving so much to me in return. How very strengthening it is to be given that leadership role, to have to opportunity to bear testimony at any moment, to really share with these girls what I know is true, and how I've come to know it for myself. It surely is in the bearing of testimonies that ours are strengthened immensely. I knew that I was supposed to be at EFY this summer, for reason that each of the 20 different things I auditioned for and applied for all fell through or didn't accept me or didn't work out. Clearly, I was supposed to be there for someone, or they were supposed to be there for me.

In Indiana, I saw myself in so many of these girls. I was in fact, in their very place exactly 6 years ago, at the Bloomington session! I remember being so enthralled with the gathering of hundreds of zealous LDS youth, unlike anything I'd ever experienced before, and just feeling the power of so many of us in one place was the reason I longed for it every summer. So in being their counselor, I got to take a step back and let these youth teach other, to bask in the light they all have and brought with them. They were all so eager to talk with eachother and share what they know and bouy eachother up. They are so weathered and so strong because of it. The youth of the Midwest are doing great things for the Church.

And then Nauvoo was just a week of pure peace and wholeness. Just to be walking in the city brought such happiness, and then to be teaching and testifying on the temple grounds, Joseph's city, I couldn't have asked for a more perfect summer experience. My favorite part of the week was being able to share my love for Nauvoo, my home! For the first time in my life, I was the educated tour guide that knew the city like the back of my hand! I could share every story and detail and memory everywhere we went. Isn't that how life works, though? You enjoy something so much for yourself first, and then you go back and you lead others along, as their parent or their teacher, paving a little way for them, but still gaining so very much out of the experience for yourself while you're at it. Shaking the hands of President Uchtdorf while I was there only put the icing on the already sweet and delicious cake! Goodness, so much of me is in Nauvoo. What a connection I have and will always have with that sacred little town.

And so I'm hooked. I would absolutely love to devote my entire next summer to Especially for Youth. There's just something about draining yourself physically, spiritually, and emotionally, week after week for these little sponges, and I can't quite put a finger on it. Perhaps its because it makes me feel a little more like the Savior, who was the greatest teacher of all, who loved the children with all His heart, and who showed by His example how to come unto Christ.

I Enjoy Being a Girl

Mmm I feel pretty. I dyed my hair a little darker brown (somewhat unseasonal) this morning to fix some grown-out highlights, then grabbed the scissors and cut some more layers so my hair would flip better. Then I went out to lunch with my mom to Mimi's Cafe, and then we both got pedicures! I got "Season's Greetings" red (also quite unseasonal). I feel like this is the first time in my life that I've had pretty feet! Oh what running marathons will do to your toes. Glory, it feels good to get done up.

Home

Home is so healing, isn't it?! Its not like I've been lazy here; I've actually had my fair share of household responsibilities, seeing as my parents left for Germany for over a week. They always seem to conveniently leave town whenever I come home to visit :)

And so in taking the kids to swimming lessons, softball games, trumpet lessons, physical therapy, horse lessons, church, and doing the grocery shopping, gasing up the van, cooking meals, and dates every night with an old friend, I should be exhausted and long to get away. But I absolutely love it. Even the part where I had to take one of the twins into surgery yesterday to get a wood chunk out of his foot. I'm just glad kids come one at a time, and not 7 all at once.

But really, there's something about going back to where you came from that makes you see what you've become in the time you were gone. I'm surrounded by pictures and scrapbooks and videos and momentos of me from before I left for school, I know, a mere 4 years ago, but I feel like a completely different girl. Like that skinnier, more rebellious, simpler version of me had more of an idea of what she wanted than I do. And so the older and wiser me is just so intrigued by that frame of a girl who had her whole life planned. And some things happened just the way she wanted them, and some things, not at all.

Wow, I sound like I'm going through some mid-life crisis! Maybe its because another chapter of life ends this summer--that of being a silly college girl. And now I go off into the real world of having a real job and that small Ohio town "High-School-Camille" never thought she'd see the "College-Grad-Camille" as a single girl, a Home-ec teacher, settled in Provo, still the hopeless romantic she always was.

Garage Sale

What luck to be back home for the annual Autumn Creek neighborhood garage sale! Every year, the week after school gets out, the mothers of our neighborhood pull out the price tag stickers, the lawn chairs, and the fans, open their garage doors and set up camp. Then they'll sit for a solid 3 days, with their coke and iced tea, and chat with everyone and anyone who comes their way.

Garage sales are a wonder to me. We sit outside, in the humid and muggy Ohio-ness, melting in our garages, no less, selling what we don't have room for, what we should have thrown out years ago, things that we bought on mail order that didn't really work, things we forgot where they came from, things we don't want the kids to see we're trying to sell, and for junk change. For a mere quarter, for a dollar here or there.

And as I walked home this morning with the little ones, a bag full of eyelet lace and ribbon that I had paid $.25 for, I realized that its not about making any money at all. Its for the sense of Midwest community in walking the whole neighborhood over and seeing everyone that you haven't seen all winter. Its to catch up on everyone's life, to see how big their baby has gotten, to see what they've done with the house, to welcome in the summer after a whole season of staying indoors.

I guess its sweet how they've all kept up on my life, though I haven't really seen the neighborhood like this for atleast 4 years. I think I babysat for atleast half of the neighborhood; they've seen me outside getting pictures for Prom or Homecoming, they've heard me giggling on the phone on our porch swing for hours, seen me on the steps when I was dropped off after dates, after curfew. They've gratiously bought grapefruit and oranges when the choir was fundraising, and let us use their driveways when we hosted parties.

And with every friendly comment along the lines of "Camille, you know you have to get married soon, because your dad's almost done with the gazebo", I smile and think, "I know. I'm working on it. I'd love to be inviting you to my reception in the backyard, I'd love to settle down in the cute little house next to yours, and then I'd be buying all of your baby swings, and high chairs, and footie pajamas at next year's garage sale. "Do you have a boyfriend yet?", "I should set you up with my nephew while your in town", "You better get started soon if you want a big family too". Oh, dear neighbors of Fairborn Ohio, thank you for watching out for me. You're cute. And I just never get tired of hearing it, I guess!

Ring my Belle

So I really should just chill out on the shows, seeing as I did just finish Smokey Joes last month, and I'm leaving for the next 4 weeks to visit home and be an EFY COUNSELOR!!! But no, with every end of a show, the emptiness burns a whole in my heart and it seems the next audition, any audition will putty it back up!

Last minute I auditioned for Beauty & the Beast down at Center Street last week, and...got the part of Belle!! This time last summer, I did a Disney show there, where all the princesses sang a couple songs from their movie and it was just magical! So knowing that the directors had seen me as Belle before, if only for 3 songs, I hoped they would remember me, and that the dress fit me oh so well :)

And strangely, I feel whole again! Its like there are so many avenues that make up one's lifestyle, like a part each for work, family, church, relationships, etc. And part of me has to always be performing, and when I haven't sold my soul to any given theater or group or event, a part of me dies inside!

So come see "Beauty & the Beast", opens Sept 5th through Oct 3rd!

100

So once upon a time, my mom and I made a bet to see if I could date 100 different boys before I got married. Perhaps I too often threatened to just get married my freshman year, and this was a means of stalling me a little? Fine! Watch how fast I can do it! I think I have one of those personalities that fires at wanting to do something hard just to prove that I can.



So I turned 16 and the next week, I went to Junior Homecoming with Kevin Nufer, #1. I came to BYU and started at #9 with R.J. Christenson. We test drove nice cars, he taught me how to drive stick in a parking lot, then went to Wendys. And thus the list continued, on and on. Ten of them developed into some serious relationship along the way, I think I personally asked out 3 of the 100, 20 of them were set-ups or blind dates, and 41 of them had atleast a second date. Incredible, no?

Here's my theory: You know those people who parallel dating to ice cream? There are some girls who've only tried 3 flavors, and they are sold on vanilla or chocolate, and they are happy as can be with their first or second flavor because they haven't tried any others, and they don't need to, because what they have is wonderful. And then there's me, who has tried ONE HUNDRED different kinds of ice cream, and now I have an extremely detailed/expensive/specific taste, but what's worse, is that I can remember exactly what I liked about every single one of them and when I can't find it in the next number, I'm kindof irritated because I know that taste, that quality or characteristic, is out there in the perfect combination if I only keep looking.



I know that you're never supposed to "settle" for anything less than what you really want, but there does come a point when you have to realize that no one is perfect!!! Including me!!! So why am I still holding out, expecting to find it? Why do I keep walking away from incredible guys again and again?



And then last week, I had dinner and a movie with Jake Butler, my #100. And then I graduated that very week. Now what?!?! I'm supposed to pick one, right? I'm supposed to turn in my assignment, pick the very best one, and feel satisfied that I dated the world over. Hmm. Ok. I think I'd rather be the girl who was sold on vanilla!

Inventory

SCHOOL : Family Life
BACHELORS MAJOR : Family & Consumer Sciences Education
--------------------------------------------------------------


Fall Semester 2004
A HTG 100 042 American Heritage 3.0
CHEM 152 001 Introductory Organic Chemistry 2.0
DANCE 180 006 Social Dance, Beginning 0.5
DANCE 190 002 Ballet, Beginning 0.5
MFHD 210 003 Human Development 3.0
MUSIC 200 002 Elements of Music 1.0
MUSIC 333R 001 Jazz Voices 1.0
PE 105 002 Healthy Living 0.5
REL A 121 005 Intro to the Book of Mormon 2.0
TMA 201 002 Theatre History 1 3.0
SEM HR ERN 16.5 GPA 3.53

*Note to self: Don't take 10 classes your 1st semester of college, on top of a performing group, a 5am cake decorating job, and Organic Chemistry!!


Winter Semester 2005
DANCE 280 008 Social Dance, Intermediate 1.0
ENGL 115 005 College Writing & Reading 3.0
GEOG 120 001 Geography & World Affairs 3.0
MUSIC 333R 001 Jazz Voices 1.0
REL A 122 093 Intro to the Book of Mormon 2.0
STAT 221 004 Principles of Statistics 3.0
TMA 202 002 Theatre History 2 3.0
SEM HR ERN 16.0 GPA 3.89



Fall Semester 2005
BIOL 100 025 Principles of Biology 3.0
FAMLF 100 001 Strengthening Marriage & Family 3.0
HFL 287 001 Intermed Clothing Construction 3.0
MUSIC 160R 022 Voice 1.0
REL C 324 021 The Doctrine & Covenants 2.0
SC ED 276R 006 Exploration of Tchg-Home Ec 4.0
SEM HR ERN 16.0 GPA 3.81



Winter Semester 2006
ENGL 359 003 The Short Story 3.0
HFL 102 002 Introduction to Interiors 3.0
HFL 400R 002 Teaching Practicum 1.0
MFHD 221 003 Foundations of Dev Appro Prac 2.0
MUSIC 186 001 Songwriting 1 2.0
PHSCS 167 001 Desc Acous Music Speech 3.0
REL A 212 009 The New Testament 2.0
SEM HR ERN 16.0 GPA 3.74



Fall Semester 2006
HFL 110 019 Food Preparation in the Home 2.0
HFL 230 001 Housing the Family 3.0
HFL 387 001 Adv Clothing: Patternmaking 3.0
IP&T 286 003 Instructional Tech in Teaching 1.0
MFHD 222 001 DAP Practicum 2.0
REL C 234 012 LDS Marriage & Family 2.0
SC ED 350 007 Adolescent Development 2.0
SEM HR ERN 15.0 GPA 3.94



Winter Semester 2007
CPSE 402 007 Educ Stdnts w/Disablts in ScEd 2.0
ENGL 315 006 Writing in the Social Sciences 3.0
HFL 202 002 Design in the Home 3.0
HFL 260 002 Family Finance 3.0
NDFS 100 001 Essentials of Human Nutrition 3.0
REL C 261 009 Family History-Genealogy 2.0
SEM HR ERN 16.0 GPA 3.89



Spring Term 2007
HFL 180 001 Clothing the Family 3.0
HFL 223 001 Preparation for Marriage 3.0
SEM HR ERN 6.0 GPA 3.85



Summer Term 2007
HFL 403R 001 Research Practicum 2.0
MFHD 240 001 Parenting & Child Guidance 3.0
SC ED 353 001 Multicultural Education 2.0
SEM HR ERN 7.0 GPA 3.87



Fall Semester 2007
HFL 282 002 Textiles 3.0
HFL 340 002 Family Meal Management 3.0
HFL 377 001 Tchg Mthds in Fam&Cons Sci Ed 3.0
HFL 395R 001 Special Topics in Home & Fam Livng 3.0
REL C 130 008 Missionary Preparation 2.0
SC ED 378 003 Practicum in Secondary Educ 1.0
SEM HR ERN 15.0 GPA 3.80



Winter Semester 2008
SC ED 476R 020 Student Tchg Internship-Home Ec 12.0
SEM HR ERN 12.0

--------------------------------------------------------------
BYU GPA SUMMARY

BYU HR ERN 135.5 GPA 3.80


And thus its been an incredible BYU experience! I think in every aspect of life, we reach the end, and suddenly it all seemed like cake along the way. You forget how impossible half of these classes were and all you can remember is how fun it was! (Ok, I still recall hating finals every single time!) I mentioned this to my mom, and she said its like childbirth--you forget everything you hated about it and it really wasn't all that bad? Can't every life experience be like this? Its hard in the moment, and at the time, you think there's never been anything more difficult in your life, and then you reach the end and it hardly seems like it was a struggle in the first place.

Why I Love Middle School

I thought I loved teaching high school, until I tried out middle school, and now I don't think I'll ever go back! These last 2 months have been absolutely nothing but rewarding, and SO much fun! The moments I'll never forget:

My first week there, I told my class, "If I see any of you misbehaving during the assembly, you're sitting next to me". Then I see cute Derek intentionally whip out his cellphone, and I snapped my fingers, "Derek, here, now", and he uttered a "Yessss!" and got to sit by me the whole assembly, haha ha.

I was teaching my 8th graders about the milk group, so I brought in the marshmallow fluff and we made "milk mustache" poster pictures, which I put up on a bulletin board outside our classroom.

The intense cologne aroma on everyone, in the halls, and especially all those 13-year-old boys.

How I may never be able to find a parking space at my apartment complex, but at South Hills, I have an entire 200-car lot all to myself.

In my rowdy 7th period, there were 4 boys who I was always having to keep on track. Their names were Travis, Braden, Derek, and Spencer (all four names of my brothers).

My students wave to me in the hallways and say, "See ya Miss Hancock" as I go out to my car!

Feeling a little guilty for being so excited that my two worst students got in a fight and were suspended for 3 days!

The plate activity--see below

Giving all my classes a test on the opening night of my show so I didn't have to talk. And then finding out that the boy I kiss in this show has a little sister, in my 7th period. Awkward! Poor girl, imagine watching your older brother kiss your teacher!




From my students:

"You are so nice! I never want you to leave. You're one of the nicest teachers I've ever had!"--Megan Jensen

"You have such beautiful brown hair" --Chase Williams

"You are a great teacher and I feel like you have taught me a lot. Thanks" --Cathy Park

"I like your sense of style! I totally need to find out where you get your clothes" --Sierra Samowitz

"Miss Hancock you are the best teacher I've had all year" --Isidoro Machorro

"I always love your hair I mean does it take you a long time to do it? And your outfits are always cute!" Grecia-Maria Ferreyra

"Thank you for being a wonderful teacher. P.S. substitute for Mrs. Fisher when she isn't here please" --Josh Foxworth

"You are the nicest student teacher I ever had, and are really fun too!" --Erin Barnum

"Ms. Hancock, you are really, really pretty, inside and out. Your a great teacher and will go far" --Kassi Killian

"You have looked uber stunning this year" --Kenzie Pettit

"You are awesome!! I don't want you to leave us!!!" --Josey Nix

"You are an amazing teacher! You made class sooo fun! :)" --Katelyn Smith

"You look amazing all the time and you are a very good teacher" --Brittany Clements

"You have been the best student teacher ever." --Korri Sage

"You look amazing in jeans. And I'm not just saying that. You really do." --Jennica Henderson

"You were great. Your better than half of the teachers I've had!!" --Derrick Rodriguez

"You were always super happy and it makes it easier to learn" Lindsay Hale

"You are very sweet and nice. You care about everyone. I love that. I will miss you :( " --Amber North

"Ms. Hancock you are my favorite student teacher I've ever had, come back and visit" --Mariah Emal

The Plate

During the "Friendship" unit, I started class showing this china plate and told the story of how it belonged to my grandmother, has been in the family for years, its so priceless to me, this is the last remaining piece, etc. Then (this is all staged) Trevor the trouble-maker of 2nd period walks in, and hands me his 'late' note.

I walk over to change his absence in the gradebook, and he picks up the plate and smashes it into a million pieces! I totally played up a scene, almost in tears, and just about to walk out of the classroom! It was priceless! The girls were almost in tears and the boys were all like, "I'll beat him up for you, Miss Hancock!"

Then we let the class in on the secret, that we had planned this, and then related a broken plate to a broken friendship, how you can glue it back together, but you'll still always see the cracks, remember what was said, how you felt. Haha, they've been talking about this for days now!

Growing Up Isn't Easy

And then one day I woke up and I was a grown-up. I accepted the job at Pleasant Grove Junior! On my way home, I looked at my car, at my cell phone, I thought about how I'm graduating on Thursday, and how I have a real job as a real teacher, and I wondered, how did it all happen? How did it just all happen so very very fast?

I'm SOOO OLLLD. Age seems to come into conversation so very often lately, and I ask, "So how old do you think I am?" And its a 23, or 24, which is AWFUL! I want to throw up!! Do I strike you as that old?? 21, folks, twenty-one. Ok, so perhaps I come across as 'mature', but I don't like it. For being an RM, and a graduate, fine, but I hope my personality doesn't come across as that old. I need to start doing immature, irresponsible, irrational things again.

So Many Choices!

1. Pleasant Grove Junior http://www.pgjr.alpine.k12.ut.us/pgcms/index.php (Alpine School District)
(19 min. drive) .67 contract
Teaching CTE & Teen Living
Principal offered me the job on Monday--I'm going in next Monday morning to see the school.

2. Crescent View Middle http://www.jordandistrict.org/schools/middle/crescentview
/index.htm (Jordan School District)
(33 min. drive) I'll be substituting here in 2 weeks
Teaching CTE & Teen Living
My interview is tomorrow.

3. Mount Jordan Middle http://www.jordandistrict.org/schools/middle/mountjordan/index.htm (Jordan School District)
(35 min. drive) right by the Mayan in Sandy. Teaching Foods, CTE, Teen Living, & Clothing.

The principal offered me the job this morning.

4. Eastmont Middle
http://www.jordandistrict.org/schools/middle/eastmont/index.htm (Jordan School District)
(37 min. drive)
My interview went SO well, and the principal was very enthusiastic about throwing me incentives to work there.

So what do I do?! Not like its a big life-determining decision or anything!!

Come See Smokey Joe's Cafe!

I'm having a blast with this show! We open on Friday!

Smokey Joe’s Café is the jumpingest joint in town with a nostalgic time trip to the 1950’s. This celebration of the rock ‘n roll music of songwriters Lieber and Stoller delivers exciting choreography and a score featuring 40 of the greatest songs ever recorded: “Jailhouse Rock,” “On Broadway,” “Hound Dog,” “There Goes My Baby,” “Yakety-Yak,” “Poison Ivy,” “Love Potion No. 9,” “Stand By Me” and dozens more recognizable tunes that’ll have you singin’ and dancin’! It’s easy to see why Smokey Joe’s Café is the longest-running song & dance music revue in Broadway history. Directed by Shawn Mortensen.

April 11-26 7:30pm (Mon-Th-Fri-Sat)

$12 Adult, $10 Child/Student/Senior All seats reserved

My Students Have all the Fun

So I teach cooking classes, but hardly have any time to cook myself, (I was up till 4am last night writing lesson plans) and I feel kindof left out, so Saturdays are my cooking days :)

Today I made homemade chocolate pudding for breakfast (egg, cocoa, milk, sugar--don't ever stop stirring!) and hamburgers for lunch!

Try it out: I combined in a bowl, the ground beef, an egg, bread crumbs, chopped onion, salt, and pepper, formed the patties and sprinkled paprika. I let the rolls rise all morning, rolled them in flour, and baked them at 350 for 15 minutes. I cooked up some bacon and diced some olives for on top. Just guess on the measurements!

Just Another Average Day

My life is anything but mediocre lately. Take today, for instance. I started teaching middle school! I LOOOOOOVE it!!! Those kids are so funny, and they just want to talk and be friends with you! "Are you the new student teacher?!" "Are you related to John Hancock?!" "Are you married?!" "What's your first name?!" Darling. And my cooperating teacher is a gem! I want her to be my mother-in-law, that's how much I've already grown to love her.

And then this boy has been on my mind like ALL day and it sort of stresses me out, the feeling of having to decide right NOW if that's what I want in a relationship, when really, I should not feel rushed. Some day I'll post what my roommate says I've been saying in my sleep, haha.

And then not to mention names, but Eric Sackett and I were leaving from rehearsal, and he chucked my water bottle across the room. I cried about how he had dented my dear water bottle and he laughed, "Next time it'll be your car!" And then not a minute later, as he was in front of me at the red light, he totally backs up into my car. My week-old pride and joy. BUT it could be a lot worse, and I can rest assured b/c I have great insurance, and we both know it was his fault. Bah, just another thing to work out.

And then I found this engagement ring as I was walking to the Provo library this weekend, in the grass, in a pretty jewelry box. So I put up signs, and then tonight reported it to the Provo police, who just picked it up, and the officer said I can have it if no one claims it in 90 days. Grand. That'll pay the rest of the loan on my car :)

May tomorrow just be one of those average days? For once?

Schroeder

I find that I have a need to name things, anything I've put my own money into, or anything that I spend a lot of time with, as if they were real and actually loved me back. The first car I drove at home I named Molly. My laptop I named Patty. The scoliosis back brace I had to wear for a year and a half I named Dorothy. So many girls.

And then I decided that my car needed to be a boy. I need a man in my life. One that can protect a single girl as she commutes up to Sandy and back everyday. We're gonna go through a lot together, I can feel it. Lots of time, lots of early early mornings, rainstorms, venting sessions, singing lessons.

So I have named my car Schroeder. Just like the boy who plays the piano on Peanuts. It just seemed to fit after driving him all week. We go places. Like rehearsal. Every night. I'm SO protective over him! The nights I have to park him on the street because the lots are full, I worry about him all night long! And then I drive him back to a safe parking lot space in the morning! With all the love you can have for an innatimate object, I love my car!

Ode to the Students of Provo High

My, my, it has been WAY too long since I wrote! It seems every night I have to debate whether I can type for 5 minutes, of if I would rather have those 5 minutes to sleep. Lately, the need for sleep has trumped everything.

So my time student teaching at Provo is coming to a close. On Monday I start commuting up to a middle school in Sandy. I'm actually really excited for a change and some new classes to teach, despite the added hour of driving every day. Boo. But I've really loved PHS. The cooking classes have been a blast, but suprisingly, my Adult Roles/Financial Literacy class has made a little place in my heart. I've been teaching the whole "Dating" unit to this class of 40 juniors and seniors at 7:35-9am every other morning. I've told them some of my great dating stories (the girl who has been on 98 first dates) and they've told me some of theirs. We've talked about why people get married these days, what's really important in a relationship, and I've pleaded with them to only marry for love. We've had some great talks, the highschoolers and I, and then the time I spend reading their assignments and grading their papers is my favorite part of the day!

I make them go on dates and tell me about them, write cute little proposals, stories of how they and their "one and only" will meet, and then write letters to their future spouses. These kids write the most moving stories, the most heartbreaking pledges of love, of how they want this love to last forever, of how they'll never love another. And their stories are simple and perhaps a little naive, but they really have thought about it, and they really believe in it! Its made me feel like a highschooler all over again, and in some ways, WANT to be a highschooler all over again because of how they are so in love with love! I've fallen in love with their love for love and their passion for what they want. They are so full of it, so dreamy and dramatic, and I love it.

So to the highschoolers of Provo High, thank you for letting me your little teacher, as inexperienced and scared as I've been to pretend that I know all about this stuff and that I actually have something to teach you. You've been great. I wish you all the best in life after high school.

The Loneliest Number

And then Valentine's Day rolls around and you're reminded how very single you are.

And you pick up where you left off mentally planning the single life you will forever lead. There've been so many individuals in my life recently that inspire me in their ways of making a life out of their singleness, and it's so consoling. I keep meeting the most talented charming beautiful girls who have already graduated from BYU, found a living for themselves, and still perform in the local theaters, still passionately doing what they love, enjoying themselves, still leading fulfilling happy lives, and I want to be like them!

So I'm planning how happy I'm going to be: I'm going to teach cooking classes in the junior high down the street and perform in the community theaters and and go to the temple every week and paint the walls of my apartment and sew purses to sell in boutiques and buy a bird and listen to jazz all evening and be very very happy.

Smokey Shop Band Accent

I made it in to Smokey Joe's Cafe at the Scera! The show is on in April! The best part is that my Daddy will be here for the last two shows b/c he's coming out for my graduation! Its a super fun show, full of 50's/60's rock and roll, and they're making us the most incredible dresses! The cast is 6 guys, 7 girls, and an absolute dream to work with.

The MDT Showcase was a blast! "Little Shop of Horrors"! It was a fun experience rehearsing/performing with all the die-hard Music-Dance-Theater majors. I'm really glad I'm not one of them!

Big Band Night was super fun! They did our hair all 40's and dressed us up, and I got to solo with Synthesis! I sang "Lullaby of Broadway" and "Can't Take that Away". Ray is intimidating up there, first time with the band, telling you to just jump to the bridge, change the key, make sure you hit the minor scale on the ending, etc. What an honor, though! Synthesis is fantastic!

AND I bought a car today!!! A beautiful white 2001 Hyundai Accent! I'm so lucky! And so very very poor!

I can't...I have rehearsal

I made Smokey Joe's Cafe call-backs! They're tomorrow!
That makes 1 call-back, 3 practices, 3 dress rehearsals, 4 showcase performances, and 1 solo Big Band Night performance just this week! Oh, and then I'm singing in church on Sunday! Help!

Nauvoo Core Cast

I made Nauvoo core cast call-backs! http://www.lds.org/events/info/0,8197,726-1-649,00.html 12 hours of script reading! Very long, very exhausting, very emotionally draining. Lots of crying, lots of spiritual moments, lots of Nauvoo memories. It was very hard to figure out who they were thinking of for each part, even by the end of it, and they let us all go at once (opposed to telling us to leave one at a time like previous years), so I feel like it could go a lot of different ways.

I would still love the opportunity with all my heart, but I realized that almost instead of longing to go back and do the pageant again, I found myself more appreciative of the opportunity I had to already be in it. Lots of people there had never been to Nauvoo, and never seen the pageant, and I felt so priviledged already to have had that incredible pageant experience, though only as a Young Performing Missionary dancer 2 years ago. This experience made me recall how I've already felt it, and loved it, and shouldn't feel like I am missing everything if I don't get to go as a core lead. http://www.meridianmagazine.com/travel/070628nauvoo.html

Get this: we'll find out if we made it "hopefully by March 1st, but likely by mid-April"!

In a Pink Cadillac

I got a car loan! Despite having no income and no credit history! I have $4000 for a 2001 or newer, so keep a lookout for me!

Turns out I need a car to get up to Sandy next month when I finish my student teaching at South Hills Middle School. I've held out till the last possible moment. I've tried to delay growing up till absolutely necessary, evident in my lack of a car and cell phone until my senior year, last semester. But I'll have gotten through 4 years of college without any debt, supporting myself the whole way!

So if anyone has a car on their hands that they'd feel like selling me, let me know!

Salmonella

My cooperating teacher Mrs. Cluff suddenly got sick in the middle of the school day and up and left! She called the office, said she was leaving and not to worry about a sub, and left in a huff. I turned to the kids in the Catering class and said "Oooo, she is mad at you!" and they really thought it was something they had done. Haha ha, the Catering kids are great. Most of them can cook better than I can.



But the next class is a bear! Both my 7th and 8th are monsters! They're packed with over 32 students when the cap is 28, mostly freshmen and sophmores, tons of special-ed and ESL students, and right after lunch, so they are bouncing off the walls! I've decided that these 2 classes are my trial for the next 2 months. You know how you generally have one big trial that becomes your focus everytime you pray at night? Its my Foods I classes.



So the kids come in, "Where's Mrs. Cluff? Where's Mrs. Cluff?" and I reply, "You know, she ate something bad at lunch and suddenly got a food-bourne illness! Which ties in perfectly to our lesson today! Have a seat!" And the kids were glued! They were the best they've ever been, listening to all of these stories about e. coli, salmonella, hepatitis, and staphylococci. At the end of class, we looked at all the germs on their hands by squirting on "glo-germ" and looking underneath a black light. I made them go back like 3 times and scrub scrub scrub till their hands were raw and there wasn't any glo-germ left :)

Thirteen

So I have literally 13 different auditions in Jan/Feb. That's ridiculous. Especially now, when student teaching is absolutely kicking my butt. Honestly, I get home from school, and fall right asleep for a nap, write lesson plans, then go to bed like 10pm to get up at 5ish every morning! It's just so completely exhausting and I'm only teaching 2 classes right now! Well, it will be 4 classes starting Tuesday...

Anyways, its hard to keep reminding myself that student teaching will end and I'll really wish I had something to do next, so I'm earnestly auditioning for everything I can find, mostly summer productions/theaters/playhouses. I only have to make one of them! I need an adventure this summer! Tonight's was for Lagoon, the amusement park up in Farmington. It went great! I knew one of the directors, and I made call-backs, along with 20 other fabulous singer dancers! What an honor to make it that far! We hear back from them by Valentines' Day. Stay tuned!

An Apple a Day

I LOVE student teaching! Its so super fun fun fun! My cooperating teacher is hilarious and is so sarcastically mean to all her kids! I love it. Every day for lunch, we just cook whatever we want! Yesterday for fun, we made stuffed mushrooms and grilled chicken for the two of us, and today we made raisin bread french toast and homemade cream cheese, just because we had stuff in the fridge and we felt like it! And then I bring the leftovers from the catering class down to my 2 student teaching friends in the teacher's lounge!

So I take over one class at a time, starting on Monday. I'll start with Foods I, then add Foods II, then Adult Roles/Financial Literacy. I'm going to be writing so many lesson plans and doing bulletin boards and spending my every spare minute on my Teacher Work Sample, yuck! They tell us to be prepared to have to turn down all weekend dates and evening plans b/c we'll need to be so engrossed in this work. Meh, I think I can handle it.

Highlights of the week: I teased this cute senior boy about his name being written on the walls in the girls bathroom :). And then this one group made a pineapple cake for their "Hawaiin" meal, and kept asking us if we liked it--on his way out, a boy whispered to me, "We put real rum in that cake"! Ha ha ha I love it.

Big Band Night!

I made it! I auditioned last night for this "Big Band Night", where they needed 4 female and 2 male jazz soloists to sing solos all night with Synthesis and do a skit and dress in period clothes, etc.! Hurray!! This is huge!! Couples pay $40/couple! Its on Saturday Feb. 9th, the same weekend as my MDT showcase Thurs. and Fri.
Its going to be a crazy month of rehearsals!!! Why do I keep doing this to myself?!

http://byumedia.com/story.cfm/58327

Job Proposition!

So I think I'm going to be a permanent substitute for a teacher at Crescent View Middle School, who is leaving beginning of May to have a baby! And she doesn't plan on coming back the next year, so this is a perfect opportunity to step in and take over! How perfect!

Happy 2008!

Happy 2008! Derek and I ran Beavercreek's 5K race on New Years Eve. I haven't run "race speed" for a good 4 years, but we did alright! He could have gone faster, but I could have gone on for another 23 miles :)