I'm Getting Married!

We're engaged!!! It was the most amazing proposal, and we're so incredible happy! I can't believe its all happening so absolutely perfectly! Glory, I love Jason so much, and I can't wait to spend eternity with him!

We started our little family blog! So perhaps this is the end of my "Dear Mr. Gable"s! Please keep up to date with us, the Millar family, at camijaymillar.blogspot.com! So long!

Jason

And then when you least expect it, someone sweeps you off your feet!

So I met this boy...his name is Jason Millar :) I really really like him!
We met doing this play called Beauty & the Beast. I thought he was cute at our first rehearsal, but it took him a whole month to ask me out, probably b/c I was out of town doing EFY.

So one rehearsal, he asked me for a ride home, (although he already had a ride) and asked me out to see a play. And that's where it started! We talked and played cards and flirted all night long, and decided that we could be friends.

Its really great, and I'm really happy. Ok, details: Jason is from Rigby, Idaho. He's 22, and has been back a year from serving in Florida. He was an RA last year in Heritage Halls, and wants to go into business. He's the youngest of 5 children, and has the cutest nieces & nephews! He has the most beautiful singing voice, and he's the perfect height, and he does the sweetest things for me all the time. I'm pretty much crazy about him. I hope you all get to meet him! You all should probably come see the play, and see how cute we are when he's Gaston and trying to win me over on stage. No, come when he's the Prince, b/c then we get to kiss at the end. Its pretty romantic.

Its incredible to me how quickly it has developed, and how I'm completely content with everything about it! Once in blue moon, you find someone where everything seems so perfect, and so easy, and so natural that you wonder how you were so lucky to come across it. I'm the luckiest girl in the world!

Choose Your Own Adventure

I'm a big fan of "Choose Your Own Adventure" books. I could direct you to the wall of them at the local library. Lately, I can't help but make another analogy of how life is our own "Choose Your Own...", where we are the protagonist, making the choices that determine one of so many options in the end. In these books, at the end of every page, you have to make a choice, each option telling you what page to turn to next. You keep making choices, keep jumping to other pages, and eventually end up at one of typically 40 different endings--some rewarding, satisfactory, some death.

So God hands us the book and says, "Here, see what you make of it". Its our book, we're turning the pages, calling the shots. We'll always have our agency, the choice is always ours. We can read it how we like, but realize that its all about the sequence of events. If you skip a page, some critical element of your story dissapears and suddenly you've lost the direction of where to go next! If we read it the way WE think it should go, it doesn't make any sense! If you want to make God laugh, tell him YOUR plans!

I think we're meant to enjoy the book along the way. We've all read and hated classic novels from high school English class, or college physics textbooks, but I think that this is one not meant to be skimmed. There's a lot to learn on every page, to take time and enjoy the story! Its your life. Stop thinking "I'll be happy when I get to page 88", "I'll be happy when I'm out of school". Learn to be happy on the page you're on, Camille!

Choices are stressful, yes? When we get to that part:

If you decide to start back home, turn to page 34.
If you decide to wait, turn to page 95.

...you start to get nervous! Don't we all feel that way at one point or another, that this ONE decision will set us on a plot line we never wanted? "If I don't study, I'll fail this test, I've lost my scholarship, and I'll have to drop out of school", "If I walk away from this relationship now, I'll never know if it couldn't worked in the end". And they usually aren't easy decisions, are they? If it was an obvious choice, there'd be no question, and everyone would end up with the same exact story. It's not always choosing between good and bad. Lots of times its between good and good, and we base our decisions on what we think would make us the happiest. And when a decision doesn't bring us happiness, we think it was the wrong one, but maybe those decisions are the ones that will lead us to a greater joy. One course will bring us the greatest happiness.

We may never know the many options that lie on the number of pages that unfortunately and fortunately will never be read. We think about that all the time, don't we? "I wonder where I would be if I wasn't a member of this Church", "What would I be doing tonight if we had never met?" I bet while you're on page 25, its hard to imagine what the end looks like. Even if we could read the endings first, and see what page we'd like to end on, we still would have no idea how to get there. Its supposed to be that way.

God wrote it, he knows what's on every page. And He wants us to choose the best-case-scenario, don't you? Maybe that one designed plotline was meant to be longer than others, include certain pages that no one else reads, send you in some direction you never thought it would.

In some way, we can't write our own story. It's already written. But we can choose our own adventure!

Here's the Deal:

I'd like to make a proposition. First, the dilemma:

My baby has a little problem with the big metal piece that protects the engine and underside. Its just lost a number of the bolts that hold it up. My dad says its a fairly easy 1-hr fix.

Seeing as I would probably be paying $150-200 for labor at any shop, if any kind soul could help me fix it, I would make you the meal of your lifetime! Honest, it would be a $200 a plate kind of meal :) and ANYTHING you wanted would be on the menu! Let me know!

Thanks for Asking

Ok, here's a worldly update on me:

1) No, I'm not dating anyone, thank you all for asking :) Through more fault of my own, probably. As soon as I come up with a sound theory about relationships, and why they don't work for me, I'll post it, and in the meantime, this is me shrugging my shoulders and smiling and saying, "well, I tried!"

2) I'm in another show! It'll be a Best of Broadway show, on Aug 15-23, so only 5 performances, and I get to do a little "Goin' Courtin", "The Girl in 14G" (my big diva number), and "We Go Together" as Sandy :) Bring a date, or bug me for comp tickets, or come just to critique and we'll do ice cream at my place afterwards! I love critisism.

3) I'm getting extremely nervous and scared to start teaching for real in two and a half weeks. Its worrying me how the first day and the first week are so crucial to the success of the rest of the year, and its in the first day and the first week that I have NO IDEA how to do this! Please, may they not hate me!

4) Yes, I did finally get some paychecks in the mail! I survived! Through the offers of friends and the deeds of a dear stranger (I still think he was one of the 3 Nephites), it all turned out ok. THANK YOU all for looking out for me. It brings a smile to my face thinking of how many friends really do have my back when I need them!

5) I'm really blessed. I have SO many reasons to be the happiest girl in the world. That's all.

Ye That are Heavy Laden

I am completely spent. I have nothing left in me. I had a truly incredible EFY in Rexburg--Sunday morning I got a call to be a counselor for another week up at BYU-I, so I jumped at the offer, canceled all my plans, packed and left within the hour. I feel that I gave everything I had to give, which is a wonderfully satisfying feeling. I told my girls at the beginning of the week: Be leaches, suck me dry! I want to give you all that I have!

And they really took me up on it. I ended up talking so very late into the night for the rest of the week. It was humbling to have my girls trust me so much with such terrible things they've gone through. I felt so very inadequate, and at a loss of what to say, but through lots of tears and prayers and searching on my own, perhaps they felt a little of what the Lord wanted them to hear. The last night, I sat with one of my girls, and just held her, without a single word for a half hour as she quivered in my arms. There is still a lot of healing that she has to endure, but she'll make it. It makes me so angry what someone would do to that precious daughter of God. How many girls endure this so very often? What all am I oblivious to? Was I to experience this week so that I may slowly learn how to comfort others going through this same thing?

I don't think I've ever felt like I needed to be in a certain place more than I did last week. How incredible it is when the Lord trusts you with His children. Though my impact may have been very small, I felt like it was enough, for now! May the Lord bless those 26 little girls I had under my wings this summer.

Green Glass over Emeralds

AAAAHHHH, I hate seeing my friends marry outside the temple. I HATE it!! I'm glad they're getting married, and I'm sure their spouses are wonderful people, and maybe it was the right thing for them right now, and maybe I don't know half the story or the whole of the situation, but its still just hard for me to stomach. I wish I could hear their rationalizing so maybe I'd feel better about it, but in the meantime, I just can't see and don't understand how this is how it ended, when we all sat in Young Womens together, we all went to Girls Camp and mutual and EFY and youth conference and talked about how we all wanted the same thing. When did that change?